Here, more than in the previous chapters, there's a clear distinction between the "freestyling" part of your - let's call it content generation, because it applies to other things you created, too - and the deeper humor. While your freestyling is superior to many others' best efforts, it still feels as though you were mostly following Tarquin around, pen and paper in hand, awkwardly waiting for something really funny to happen; that is, until Spelt started talking. That part made me spray the non-sipped tea from my mouth indeed. Delicious Absurd. I'm curious how much of this was pre-planned and how much was edited in retrospect, but upcoming chapters may give additional clues.
Thanks, this is precisely the sort of feedback I crave! Squawk was over a decade in the making, so it could just be that there ain't much difference between my respective styles, free or otherwise. The first chapter had loads of heavy lifting to do, and so was edited and re-written to within an inch of its life. Perhaps even to its detriment. The second one is basically a sketch portending the fact that Story will often be subjugated to Silliness, inspired by the likes of Holy Grail or Life of Brian, where each scene plays out as a self-contained bit of inanity with its own beginning, middle and end. Yet unlike those examples, things that may initially seem inconsequential later reveal themselves to be... well, let's just say that all Chekhov's guns go off, sooner or later.
As regards planning vs. pantsing, I'd say in the early going, things were very much pantsed with an eye toward pulling out the comedic nugget in every situation. Whether or not the comedy succeeds is up to the reader, but my mission was to create something I wished there were more of, a narrative that's comedy-driven rather than story-driven, with the odd sentence here and there striving for a small measure of aesthetic beauty.
It's a problem, I saw so much of your other content before Squawk, that I can't approach this Tabula Rasa; there are expectations and comparisons (even if, chronologically, this stuff came first). Yes, even though this is quite clearly comedy-driven, in a sense I am still expecting things to unfold, previously seen guns to go off etc. (otherwise, what's the point of this being a book?) and an overdose of pure nonsense may thwart the expectation. I will say, though, that the Puffin's first line in Chapter 1 was brilliant enough to carry the entire chapter.
And I'm sorry; I didn't mean to distract from your story. As horrifying as Squidmate sounds, I love the way you described it! "Carnal ferocity!" I love that term. I love how this is coming along, and I can't wait to see what's next!
Here, more than in the previous chapters, there's a clear distinction between the "freestyling" part of your - let's call it content generation, because it applies to other things you created, too - and the deeper humor. While your freestyling is superior to many others' best efforts, it still feels as though you were mostly following Tarquin around, pen and paper in hand, awkwardly waiting for something really funny to happen; that is, until Spelt started talking. That part made me spray the non-sipped tea from my mouth indeed. Delicious Absurd. I'm curious how much of this was pre-planned and how much was edited in retrospect, but upcoming chapters may give additional clues.
Thanks, this is precisely the sort of feedback I crave! Squawk was over a decade in the making, so it could just be that there ain't much difference between my respective styles, free or otherwise. The first chapter had loads of heavy lifting to do, and so was edited and re-written to within an inch of its life. Perhaps even to its detriment. The second one is basically a sketch portending the fact that Story will often be subjugated to Silliness, inspired by the likes of Holy Grail or Life of Brian, where each scene plays out as a self-contained bit of inanity with its own beginning, middle and end. Yet unlike those examples, things that may initially seem inconsequential later reveal themselves to be... well, let's just say that all Chekhov's guns go off, sooner or later.
As regards planning vs. pantsing, I'd say in the early going, things were very much pantsed with an eye toward pulling out the comedic nugget in every situation. Whether or not the comedy succeeds is up to the reader, but my mission was to create something I wished there were more of, a narrative that's comedy-driven rather than story-driven, with the odd sentence here and there striving for a small measure of aesthetic beauty.
It's a problem, I saw so much of your other content before Squawk, that I can't approach this Tabula Rasa; there are expectations and comparisons (even if, chronologically, this stuff came first). Yes, even though this is quite clearly comedy-driven, in a sense I am still expecting things to unfold, previously seen guns to go off etc. (otherwise, what's the point of this being a book?) and an overdose of pure nonsense may thwart the expectation. I will say, though, that the Puffin's first line in Chapter 1 was brilliant enough to carry the entire chapter.
This reminds me of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oZLiETdvDc
Ha, I've watched this several times since you sent it. It looks very Matt Groeningish. Is it like the fantasy version of Futurama?
And I'm sorry; I didn't mean to distract from your story. As horrifying as Squidmate sounds, I love the way you described it! "Carnal ferocity!" I love that term. I love how this is coming along, and I can't wait to see what's next!
Oh no apologies needed! I need to look up this Disenchantment. And this Netflix you speak of.
Yeah, pretty much. It’s called Disenchantment, and it’s on Netflix. I think you’d really like it!